Are you a ROLE PLAYER? Do you enjoy PLAYING ROLES?

Are you also a fan of PLAYER VERSUS ENVIRONMENT content? Do you long to explore the cavernous depths of ULDUAR with nine FAITHFUL COMPANIONS who also enjoy PLAYER VERSUS ENVIRONMENT content and PLAYING ROLES?

Are you perhaps a STOUT DWARF filled with an UNQUENCHABLE THIRST for GOLD, WOMEN and SEVERED HEADS as displayed in the attached ADVERTISING MEDIA?*

If so, then perhaps you may find a home within HAND OF POD: IRON WHEEL'S PLAYER VERSUS ENVIRONMENT ROLE PLAYING RAID ENABLING COALITION INITIATIVE!

Due to a series of UNFORTUNATE CLERICAL ERRORS, we currently find ourselves UNDERSTAFFED for the SPRING/SUMMER 2009 SEASON and are currently seeking FRESH BLOOD with which to feed our DARK MISTRESS. This GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY is available for a LIMITED TIME ONLY and all applicants must conform to the following STRINGENT CRITERIA:

- You must be a CURRENT MEMBER of the ALLIANCE!
- You must be a ROLE PLAYER!
- You must be REASONABLY SKILLED and not a MOUTH BREATHING DARK SAINT!
- You must be possessed of a THICK SKIN or CARAPACE, much like a BEETLE or CRAB!
- You must be able to withstand SCATHING BLASTS of CRITICISM, RIDICULE and SCORN!
- You must be an aficionado of CLASSIC AUDIO sourced from THE PAST, including RAY PARKER, JR, THE WURZELS and DAVID HASSELHOFF!
- You must be available more often than not at 19:00 SERVER TIME on MONDAY, TUESDAY and THURSDAY.

SUCCESSFUL APPLICANTS can expect to form STRONG BONDS of CAMARADERIE and FRIENDSHIP, forged during SEVERAL RAIDS PER WEEK, each with a duration of approximately THREE HOURS. They may also expect to encounter more FOUR LETTER WORDS than a game of SCRABBLE as we VERBALLY SPAR with each other over VENTRILO in a FRIENDLY MANNER.

Membership in IRON WHEEL or one of it's SUBSIDIARY GUILDS is NOT REQUIRED and NOT INCLUDED as part of this offer. All of the PLAYER VERSUS ENVIRONMENT RAIDS organised through HAND OF POD: IRON WHEEL'S PLAYER VERSUS ENVIRONMENT ROLE PLAYING RAID ENABLING COALITION INITIATIVE are to be considered OUT OF CHARACTER and RETAINING MEMBERSHIP in your EXISTING ROLE PLAYING GUILD for in character play is STRONGLY ENCOURAGED!